PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION. I WANT TO WRITE TO YOU.
Shut My Mind The Fuck Off
my head is racing and it wont stop. im practically homeless and my father wont give me a straight answer about moving in or not. i know he wants to say no but doesnt have the heart to say it so just keeps saying he doesnt think its a good idea. My relationship with my mother is gone. its completely gone and its never going to come back. we dont even speak anymore. she will walk in make herslef dinner eat it and go to bed. wont say a single word. she has stopped buying food for the house and just eats out so i have to buy my own food, shampoo, deoderant….everything. shes kicking me out becuase she says im so ungreatful and dont appreciate anything she does… but what i wont ever understand is how she can point the finger so many times at me when she is not even a mother. I have zero idea what im going to do after suffolk and i really dont even care. sorry im such a fuck up but iv been so unhappy for so long and its summer and all i want to do is enjoy myslef and no one will let me. getting out of my last relationship was the hardest thing i have ever been through to this day. NO one will ever understand the depressed state i sunk down too. therapy couldnt even help me for so many months. the fact that i became semi stable on my own and without any help of my family or freinds(only bc they were away at school) should fucking mean somthing and everyone should just give me a fucking break. i obviously cant do anything right cause no matter what i say im still selfish, ungreatful, and a peice of shit to everyone. so not only has she stopped feading me she took away the car which means i have no transportation. im just not happy at all and i dont know how to be or if i ever will be. ill have weeks or maybe even a month or two of pure happiness and then it crashes down again… wtf is the point of trying so hard to be happy when nothing pays off in the end and i still find myslef crying to sleep at night..
heres the thing: we BOTH know that right now is not our time. we BOTH know how happy we made eachother. and we BOTH know that we will never regret our time together. and we BOTH have no idea if we we will ever be together again so its time to let me do my thing cause we BOTH know youv rebelled and done yours for the past 2 years. you know how i feel about you soo dont let this upset you and just let happen watever is supposed to happen. -shmoop 2
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R.I.P Ryan Dunn <3
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